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Old 01-07-2010, 12:42 PM
waterdragon waterdragon is offline
Honored Poet
Replies: 1
Views: 20,282
A 21st Century Night Before Christmas

‘Tis the night before Christmas and all through house
Not a creature is stirring ‘cuz everyone’s soused

Her stockings are thrown on the floor, over there
And he’s curled up snoring in his favorite chair

They both are so wasted that they do not hear
The landing of the sleigh and all those reindeer

Santa gets stuck in the trailer’s swamp cooler
‘Til Rudolph lubes him up (he is quite the drooler!)

Some of the reindeer crapped on the roof
And one even managed to crap on his hoof

Then the silent alarm brings police to the door
And they grab Santa up Just as he hits the floor

Animal control took the reindeer away
While a tow truck came and impounded the sleigh

Santa was jailed until the next morning
When in true Christmas spirit, he was let off with a warning


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02-23-2010, 07:05 PM Old

We would be assigned arithmetic homework

In the evening I would watch TV or

Shoot my B B gun or

Ride my bike instead

The next morning

Mrs. Wressler would say to the class at ten-thirty:

Anybody who did not do their homework

Can stay in for recess and get it done

Out I would go

To play softball with the boys

Too guilt ridden to enjoy it much

Running out to recess with your homework not done?

Mrs. Wressler would gasp, later on

As the whole class recoiled in horror

What will your parents say?

They would be disappointed and heartbroken of course

I’d be punished and would buckle down

For a while

But pretty soon, I’d be back out there

On the playground again

Half a century later

I can still be discovered

Running out to recess

Less guilty by only the

Palest of shades

© 2010 Gair Linhart
gair88 gair88 is offline
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